a keyboard, a second-grade education, and a powerful sense of entitlement
Yes, I know the article is late. Worked a side job today so I couldn't finish the layout. I'll leave you a teaser though.
"What we're finding is that the important people on the Web are not necessarily the people with the most explicit links (back to their sites)". Slashdot posted this as Bloggers' Plagiarism Scientifically Proven. Uh oh, I hope no one tells the professional blogrollers about this. "We're under attack again! Engage the Trackback torpedoes! Prepare to launch parody page!"
Oh, and look for people to start posting their iRank soon, and figuring out ways to pump it up. Assuming HP makes it available to the public.
Oh, and look for people to start posting their iRank soon, and figuring out ways to pump it up. Assuming HP makes it available to the public.
* * * * FLASH - BREAKING... * * * *
COMING TOMORROW - A HARD TIMES EXCLUSIVE
READ THE INTERVIEW PEPSI DOESN'T WANT YOU TO SEE!!
Girl Gone Wild
The weather here has been awesome this week, and spring fever has hit Sugarmama pretty hard. She's tired of being "level-headed" and wants to do something crazy to break out of the winter funk and spice up her "sensible" page. I've come up with a few good ideas, most of which involve showing some skin. But hey, she started it. Hmm...I have just enough booze to make a batch of my famous passed-out-in-your-boxers-in-two-hours margaritas (see recipe below). Toga party, anyone?
Skillzy's Passed-out-in-your-boxers-in-two-hours Margaritas
Equal parts sugar, water, lime juice, Jose Cuervo tequila, and Grand Marnier - a cup or two of each works nicely
Mix water and sugar in a saucepan and heat until you've made a simple syrup. Add to other ingredients and mix well. Blend with lots of ice in the Mixmaster, and serve in a salt-rimmed glass. Lime optional.
Make sure you have a place for everyone to crash,driving walking is not recommended after these. Also, this drink gets a waiver from the 3 ingredients limit mentioned on the About The Publisher page - technically it has four once you've made the syrup.
UPDATE: Sugah's really losing it now, she's started trolling herself. On the bright side, it looks like me and her and Jett are gonna have some kind of hippie commune weekend out in the woods. We're gonna need one of these, and they cost like 400 bucks, so someone needs to get busy working at the strip club to get us some blender money.
The weather here has been awesome this week, and spring fever has hit Sugarmama pretty hard. She's tired of being "level-headed" and wants to do something crazy to break out of the winter funk and spice up her "sensible" page. I've come up with a few good ideas, most of which involve showing some skin. But hey, she started it. Hmm...I have just enough booze to make a batch of my famous passed-out-in-your-boxers-in-two-hours margaritas (see recipe below). Toga party, anyone?
Skillzy's Passed-out-in-your-boxers-in-two-hours Margaritas
Equal parts sugar, water, lime juice, Jose Cuervo tequila, and Grand Marnier - a cup or two of each works nicely
Mix water and sugar in a saucepan and heat until you've made a simple syrup. Add to other ingredients and mix well. Blend with lots of ice in the Mixmaster, and serve in a salt-rimmed glass. Lime optional.
Make sure you have a place for everyone to crash,
UPDATE: Sugah's really losing it now, she's started trolling herself. On the bright side, it looks like me and her and Jett are gonna have some kind of hippie commune weekend out in the woods. We're gonna need one of these, and they cost like 400 bucks, so someone needs to get busy working at the strip club to get us some blender money.
Kill all the Lawyers Recruiters
Last week I mentioned a job possibility that would have presented a dilemma for me. Because it had been a while since I had dealt with aweasel recruiter, and because the job was exactly what I'd been looking for, I let myself get suckered in. Here's how it went down:
Got an e-mail from a guy with an "urgent need" for someone. Replied with my resume.
Got a call the next day from a kid in Seattle who obviously had no clue what the job entailed. We discussed money and how quickly I could start.
Got an e-mail detailing pay options (benefits or no benefits). Replied and asked the guy to call me back because I had a lot of questions about the job.
Silence.
Tried to call the guy 2 days later, got the voice mail dodge.
Silence.
Realized that it wasn't gonna happen, wrote this post.
I figure either they found someone else, or the guy that I'd be working for looked at my resume and said, "no, this isn't the guy, keep looking". Either way, a call or a Dear John e-mail would have been nice. If I was a kid right out of school, or someone who was out of work right now, or if I hadn't danced this dance a few times before, I'd be going nuts right now. The guy running the drive through at the local McDonald's has more professionalism than most of the recruiters that I've run into. Youth and inexperience are no excuse for being a dumbass, people.
Last week I mentioned a job possibility that would have presented a dilemma for me. Because it had been a while since I had dealt with a
Got an e-mail from a guy with an "urgent need" for someone. Replied with my resume.
Got a call the next day from a kid in Seattle who obviously had no clue what the job entailed. We discussed money and how quickly I could start.
Got an e-mail detailing pay options (benefits or no benefits). Replied and asked the guy to call me back because I had a lot of questions about the job.
Silence.
Tried to call the guy 2 days later, got the voice mail dodge.
Silence.
Realized that it wasn't gonna happen, wrote this post.
I figure either they found someone else, or the guy that I'd be working for looked at my resume and said, "no, this isn't the guy, keep looking". Either way, a call or a Dear John e-mail would have been nice. If I was a kid right out of school, or someone who was out of work right now, or if I hadn't danced this dance a few times before, I'd be going nuts right now. The guy running the drive through at the local McDonald's has more professionalism than most of the recruiters that I've run into. Youth and inexperience are no excuse for being a dumbass, people.
I'm really torn over this - on the one hand, it's PETA, but on the other hand, it's nubile young wimmen who are practically nekkid. In the future, I wish they'd give more advance notice for these things, so I could take them a bucket of chicken. And get some pictures.
Alabama latest state to present open source software bill - are we getting progressive or what? If you live in Alabama, make sure to write or call your senators and representatives. You can find out who they are here.
NEWS FLASH: Your overpriced prescription money at work - women are complicated, men are simple. Who knew?
I confess, I watch some of that reality TV crap. So sue me. Anyhoo, the final episode of Average Joe 2 is tonight, and the hottie has a "big secret"! What could it be?
Has she got a husband? Very doubtful, that would just be dumb.
Has "she" got a penis? Hmmm, probably not. If so, she has a hell of a plastic surgeon and makeup person.
Has she already got a fiance or a lesbian lover? Maybe, the lesbian lover thing would be a great segue to a new show.
I'm guessin that her big secret is that she is too emotionally vulnerable to make a commitment or something goofy like that. Maybe she's going to become a nun. The whole reason that they need a "big secret" is that everyone knows there's no way she's hooking up with that Yankee dork from New Hampsha or wherever it is. It's either the pretty boy or nobody. Us real life "average joes" knew that from the get-go.
UPDATE: Yes, she picked the pretty boy. It was kinda painful to watch, cause Brian the poor Yankee took her to Fenway - she's ruined the Red Sox for him forever. They let this guy think he was gonna win the geek lottery, then said "you know what, you probably deserve this, but we're gonna give it to surfer boy over there" and tore up his ticket.
The "big secret" was hilarious, though. Once Miss Hottie and Pretty Boy got to Mexico, she broke the news that she used to be hot and heavy with Fabio. That's right, Fabio. And shocker of shockers, Mr. Shallow got pissed off and left her. I was crackin up. She could've picked any of the average guys and said, "oh by the way, I made some porn films with Dennis Rodman" and they would've said "that's nice dear, you look stunning tonight".
Has she got a husband? Very doubtful, that would just be dumb.
Has "she" got a penis? Hmmm, probably not. If so, she has a hell of a plastic surgeon and makeup person.
Has she already got a fiance or a lesbian lover? Maybe, the lesbian lover thing would be a great segue to a new show.
I'm guessin that her big secret is that she is too emotionally vulnerable to make a commitment or something goofy like that. Maybe she's going to become a nun. The whole reason that they need a "big secret" is that everyone knows there's no way she's hooking up with that Yankee dork from New Hampsha or wherever it is. It's either the pretty boy or nobody. Us real life "average joes" knew that from the get-go.
UPDATE: Yes, she picked the pretty boy. It was kinda painful to watch, cause Brian the poor Yankee took her to Fenway - she's ruined the Red Sox for him forever. They let this guy think he was gonna win the geek lottery, then said "you know what, you probably deserve this, but we're gonna give it to surfer boy over there" and tore up his ticket.
The "big secret" was hilarious, though. Once Miss Hottie and Pretty Boy got to Mexico, she broke the news that she used to be hot and heavy with Fabio. That's right, Fabio. And shocker of shockers, Mr. Shallow got pissed off and left her. I was crackin up. She could've picked any of the average guys and said, "oh by the way, I made some porn films with Dennis Rodman" and they would've said "that's nice dear, you look stunning tonight".
The Sneeze has a new Better Off Dead interview, this time with the writer/director, Savage Steve Holland. Turns out the movie is based on a true story! Read the interview to learn more, including the curse of the two dollars.
Don't you just love it when the winter's gone
and all of a sudden it starts gettin warm;
birds be singin,
flowers be bloomin,
lots of brand new cars be zoomin
-Biz Markie
(annoying gif stolen from a LiveJournal user)
Name the angel behind this voice. And note how she can drop f-bombs and still sound sweet. DANGER DANGER!
Minority Report
According to this, bloggers are a rare breed. I assume that the "hype" that they refer to is all the melodrama and buzz within the blogging community.
Back in the mid-90's, I ran across what I consider to be the "original" weblog. I'd access the web via GNN and there was this site called "Mirsky's Worst of the Web", or WOTW as it was commonly known. It was a daily (or weekly, or monthly, depending on Mirsky's mood) link to a web page that was either horribly ugly, badly written, or just plain weird. After a couple of years he got tired of it and quit. Mind you, this was way before Google and Yahoo.
In late 2000 I saw a TV news story about Blogger. A few months later, I finally got around to launching the times on geocities - it was a great solution at the time. About a year later, they turned into complete bastards and the times went on hiatus. I stayed away for a while, but got back in the saddle later in the year with this fine mess you are gawking at. If I had known about Movable Type back then, I probably would have tried it out, but it didn't really get popular till later, and it would have been a pain, so I missed out on my chance to be a cool kid.
The reason that I started blogging was to have a web site that made people laugh. Blogger just made it easier to create and update my little funny place on the web. Why do you do it? To work on your writing skills? To push your political agenda? To share your life with the world? To sell mugs and t-shirts? According to a recent comment, Commissar blogs to get Trackbacks. He was kidding. I think.
According to this, bloggers are a rare breed. I assume that the "hype" that they refer to is all the melodrama and buzz within the blogging community.
Back in the mid-90's, I ran across what I consider to be the "original" weblog. I'd access the web via GNN and there was this site called "Mirsky's Worst of the Web", or WOTW as it was commonly known. It was a daily (or weekly, or monthly, depending on Mirsky's mood) link to a web page that was either horribly ugly, badly written, or just plain weird. After a couple of years he got tired of it and quit. Mind you, this was way before Google and Yahoo.
In late 2000 I saw a TV news story about Blogger. A few months later, I finally got around to launching the times on geocities - it was a great solution at the time. About a year later, they turned into complete bastards and the times went on hiatus. I stayed away for a while, but got back in the saddle later in the year with this fine mess you are gawking at. If I had known about Movable Type back then, I probably would have tried it out, but it didn't really get popular till later, and it would have been a pain, so I missed out on my chance to be a cool kid.
The reason that I started blogging was to have a web site that made people laugh. Blogger just made it easier to create and update my little funny place on the web. Why do you do it? To work on your writing skills? To push your political agenda? To share your life with the world? To sell mugs and t-shirts? According to a recent comment, Commissar blogs to get Trackbacks. He was kidding. I think.
