hard times
Be careful about opening the next birthday card you get from your friendly neighborhood perv. And if you catch someone using this program, drag their ass to court. In a related story, the Italians have some cell phone rules to live by if you're a cheatin you-know-what. Go practice your "who is this?" routine in the mirror ASAP.
Alabama News Headlines:
Storage unit woman is awarded $100,000. This story said she weighed 150 when she went in, so I guess she wasn't fat like I previously thought. All in all, it's a tough way to make a buck and lose some weight.
Dumbass Alabama fan tries to shoot his son after the Crimson Tide loses a close one. I sure hope his driver did OK at Talladega the next day.
Storage unit woman is awarded $100,000. This story said she weighed 150 when she went in, so I guess she wasn't fat like I previously thought. All in all, it's a tough way to make a buck and lose some weight.
Dumbass Alabama fan tries to shoot his son after the Crimson Tide loses a close one. I sure hope his driver did OK at Talladega the next day.
Mookie had a link to this biorhythm compatibility chart thing for Nicole Kidman (yuk) and Lenny Kravitz (eye roll). Anyhoo, I went there and put in my info and found my perfect match...90 out of 100! Now I just have to convince her what a great idea this is....
Well travelin all last week sucked, but it was all worth it Friday when I visited The Scotch Corner, an authentic little Scottish pub and karaoke bar down near Disney. What made it great wasn't the Belhaven Scottish Ale, or the singing, it was the fact that after 3 long years, I finally met the hardheaded little cannoli face to face. We had a blast and I'll put up some pics soon.
Friday headlines:
Dogging is the latest craze in Britain. Wonder if it'll catch on here? Any volunteers? Any female ones?
Woman spends 63 days locked in a storage unit. Luckily she was fat when she went in. Bizarre story. (thanks War Liberal)
NYC cop finds true love at an Oregon high school. I now pronounce you perv and teenybopper.
And finally, another tough chick. This one's 13! Junior high bullies beware...
Dogging is the latest craze in Britain. Wonder if it'll catch on here? Any volunteers? Any female ones?
Woman spends 63 days locked in a storage unit. Luckily she was fat when she went in. Bizarre story. (thanks War Liberal)
NYC cop finds true love at an Oregon high school. I now pronounce you perv and teenybopper.
And finally, another tough chick. This one's 13! Junior high bullies beware...
Under the Tuscan Sun has Diane Lane and Tuscany (go rent Stealing Beauty...when I win the lottery I'm moving there immediately) - it's a chick flick I may have to see.
Messenger shot for stating the obvious. It appears that AtStake thinks the truth is "not in line with AtStake's views".
Levi Strauss closes American plants - if you want some American made jeans, you'd better get busy sewing...well, assuming you're American.
Study finds 260 million porn pages on Internet. I shudder to think how much these people had to charge on their VISA while they were counting.
MSN to shut chat rooms - well technically they're not shutting the U.S. ones, they're just changing to a plan that will allow them to better control (and charge) who chats in their rooms. Will Yahoo and AOL follow? That probably depends on whether MSN makes any money off the deal. It's not about the spam and predators - if it was, they would have closed them up years ago.
You can't go to Pensacola without visiting McGuire's Irish Pub, a tourist trap extraordinaire with surprisingly good food, and beer that's made right there. I'm bummed cause I didn't have my camera to get a pic of the stuffed gnu head mounted on the wall.
Thanks to Airpath Wireless (and a few bucks), I'm sending this from inside the Pensacola airport. Geek Nirvana!
Indian era ends again - guess they're not moving to Birmingham after all. On the bright side, the Barber Motorcycle Museum reopened at the new place last weekend and it's supposed to be great. Hopefully I'll get out there and get some pics soon.
Arrrr - it's Talk Like A Pirate Day! Grab a saucy wench and squint one eye today. This is pretty cool, I actually entered this on Saturday the 13th but you won't be able to see it till the 19th. Shiver me timbers!
Yahoo's planning an update to Messenger that will shut out third party apps like Gaim and Trillian. If history is any indication, Yahoo Messenger clients will be shut out too, creating perfect security for their customers.
Dead guys dominate the ratings in music and TV. Maybe someone should forward these articles to Celine Dion's publicist.
NYSE Chairman steps down due to the furor over his enormous package. He's obviously an evil genius...check out the size of that cranium. I'll bet he's already built a bunker in a dormant volcano, and is just waiting for delivery of his submarine to get his nefarious plans underway.
Stealth Disco - a video testimony to just how badly white people dance, complete with a crappy soundtrack.
The beginning of a new school year (and thousands of new fraternity pledges) should keep the submissions rolling in to penischeek.com. As someone who had his toenails painted while passed out, I feel a bit of sympathy for these poor folks. Be on the lookout for ratemypenischeek.com, coming soon I'm sure. (link stolen from the ever shexy Boostay)
Forty years ago today, home-grown terrorists put Alabama on the map for all the wrong reasons. We've come a long way since then.
Perverts! That's not sporting at all...real men convince the women to focus cameras on their "breasts and buttocks" themselves, and without the help of a major credit card I might add.
I'm back home for a week or so, but lots going on. I'll blog when I can, in the meantime I'll leave you with this nugget from the second chapter of Zen and The Art of Mototcycle Maintenance - "When you want to hurry something, that means you no longer care about it and want to get on to other things".
Story of my life - I drove around for about 45 mins at lunchtime looking for a place to eat, I was craving some Indian food but couldn't find anything I wanted, much less Indian. Navigating up here is a mess....lots of construction and weird dead ends, etc. I finally gave up and ducked into a Wendy's and scarfed down a burger. As I was leaving, I looked to the right and, naturally, there was a little Indian restaurant in the strip mall. I'll probably try to hit it for supper if I can find my way back.
Blew off the Spam Museum today (it was too far away), went shopping instead. Got the latest issues of Linux Journal (GIMP tricks!) and 2600 (1337!) for the plane ride home, for music I got Johnny Cash's American IV, and Panjabi MC's Beware. Last but not least, I picked up a new copy of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, cause I lost my copy in the move and I want to read it again. Turns out that the author, Robert Pirsig, is from right here in Minneapolis.
BLOGGER and their parent company Google are bucking the "charge for everything" trend by giving away the old Blogger Pro stuff you used to have to pay for. Based on most of the random blogs I hit, I'm not sure that the spel cheker is going to help much.
I have to run, you probably already know about Johnny Cash and John Ritter. When I get back to Alabama, I'll post my favorite Johnny Cash pic (I don't have it here). I grew up singing Ring of Fire and Girl Named Sue, and I'm glad a new generation got to appreciate him thanks to his latest work.
9/11 jitters - around 9 PM Wednesday night, fireworks started going off not far from my hotel. Next thing I know, there's a news crawl on the TV because people are freaking out. Turns out it was the American Pyrotechnic Convention showing off their stuff. Supposedly there's more fireworks to come tonight.
WHEE! Time to patch again. If you're one of the unfortunate people who manage big Windows networks, just think of the time you'll spend this weekend patching (or 2 weeks from now cleaning up the damage) as a way of giving back to Microsoft for all they've done for you.
Hybrid vs. Hummer --The Movie - it doesn't get much better than a bad Ahnold impersonation wrapped up in political claptrap. "YOU STOOPID HUMMAH!"
Would You Hit This? Not even with Mookie's tallywhacker!
Dang, I screwed that link up, it was supposed to be linked to this scary guy in makeup and drag. Oh well, the moment is gone now...
Dang, I screwed that link up, it was supposed to be linked to this scary guy in makeup and drag. Oh well, the moment is gone now...
While I was at the "MOA" I finally picked up Warren Zevon's final album. It wasn't as depressing as I expected...I still think his best tearjerker was Reconsider Me on Sentimental Hygeine. I actually have that album on vinyl (ask your parents).
I'm officially a tourist - I went to the Mall of America today. It's really big, but when it's all said and done, it's still a mall...not that special. My new digital camera should come in handy if I make my planned trip to the Spam Museum on Saturday. It was either that or drive up to Brainerd to see the big Paul Bunyan that was in Fargo, but it was just a prop! I was taken in by Hollywood trickery. There's a real Paul Bunyan and Babe out there somewhere, but I'm not going hunting for them.
Remember Tucker Max? He's the guy with an application to date him on his web site - he got sued a while back by a former Miss Vermont and had to take a story about her off the site. Well, she lost and the story is back up, drunken debauchery and all. Just to give you an idea of what a prick this guy is, Maddox links to him. Quite an honor.
Tomorrow I'm making my first trip to Minnesota (the twin cities to be exact) and I'll be gone all week. I should be able to update from there, but in the unlikely event that I can't, go check out those links over there --> (or down there \/ if your screen resolution sucks). I'm looking forward to my week amongst the friendly blonde Yankee people, we'll see how it goes. At least it's cooler there.
An oldie but a goodie - for flash videos of kittens playing music and some other hilarious stuff, your one stop shop is rathergood.com. My favorite kitten video, Immigrant Song, isn't there anymore, but you can still find it here. Be sure to check out American Girls while you're there and play with their boobies, play with their boobies.
David Blaine has climbed into a box and says he won't come down (or eat anything) until Auburn scores a touchdown. Nice knowin ya, David.
This blog has something to do with "Internet Best Practices". Apparently using a font that is big enough to read without kissing the screen isn't a "Best Practice".
Today's Headlines:
Expat rich boy slams the U.S. from the comfort of France, then has hired mouthpiece recant everything for the U.S. fans. Nation can't get over what a cute pirate he makes.
Slut blames slutty behavior on older, worldlier slut rather than a need to stay in the headlines. Nation wishes she'd just take off her clothes and get it over with.
Expat rich boy slams the U.S. from the comfort of France, then has hired mouthpiece recant everything for the U.S. fans. Nation can't get over what a cute pirate he makes.
Slut blames slutty behavior on older, worldlier slut rather than a need to stay in the headlines. Nation wishes she'd just take off her clothes and get it over with.
Wow...Everquest characters with their own blog. Nysa's real life alter ego has a blog too - where do people find the time?
What do you want to patch today? Microsoft Security Bulletins. Check this page oh, every 15 minutes or so to make sure you're up to date, and you should be fine.
what the....now the Random Link works, but it only goes to crappy blogs that have tons of anime or pictures of Justin Timberlake or a pink tagboard, or they're in Arabic or something.
Fellow Alabamian Rick Bragg has found a way to squeak by now that he's not working for the New York Times. I wanted to go see him last week but I couldn't afford the 100 bucks (even though it went to a good cause).
Today I happened across the Best Page In The Universe, so I figured I'd better link to it. There's a must-have cam whore tutorial and a pretty good argument for masturbation. I would've lifted one of his graphics and put it here, but I hate asking permission for anything. Go check it out for yourself!
