a keyboard, a second-grade education, and a powerful sense of entitlement
I've been getting a lot of these in my mailbox lately, first from Citibank and now from Yahoo:
"Dear` YAHOO C|ient,
_This_ _email_ !nform You That _your_ YAHO0 user_id (hardskillz@yahoo.com)
will be Blocked after* 29 DAYS (@S @FTER autoomateed reegisttration) 1f _you_ wil|
_not_ _signup_ on YAHOO! wh1te l1st (to s!gn up - click Here: http://Hardskillz.yahoo.com/)
This is D0NE beecause we` update now` YAHOO! not autoomateed reegistered IDs.
EYm6vjUjgXaZUAt"
I'm sorry, but if someone's dumb enough to click on that and send in their info, they probably deserve to have their shit stolen. I especially like the 1337speak like "wh1te" and "@fter" - I'm not sure if that's to fool spam filters or if they just normally sp311 L1k3 7h@7.
"Dear` YAHOO C|ient,
_This_ _email_ !nform You That _your_ YAHO0 user_id (hardskillz@yahoo.com)
will be Blocked after* 29 DAYS (@S @FTER autoomateed reegisttration) 1f _you_ wil|
_not_ _signup_ on YAHOO! wh1te l1st (to s!gn up - click Here: http://Hardskillz.yahoo.com/)
This is D0NE beecause we` update now` YAHOO! not autoomateed reegistered IDs.
EYm6vjUjgXaZUAt"
I'm sorry, but if someone's dumb enough to click on that and send in their info, they probably deserve to have their shit stolen. I especially like the 1337speak like "wh1te" and "@fter" - I'm not sure if that's to fool spam filters or if they just normally sp311 L1k3 7h@7.
Last night I installed WordPress on the Debian server that I set up last August for testing PHP stuff. The plan is to get bloghosts to set everything up on the live site, but I wanted to see how it worked, and needed a testbed to futz around with settings and layouts before the fact. It wasn't too bad, but you really need to have some knowledge of MySQL, your web server, and setting file permissions before you dive in too deep. My server box doesn't have a GUI installed, so Webmin came in handy more than once during the setup, for setting up the database and adding users. Here's the basic install procedure:
-Set up a web server with MySQL, and PHP. Create a new database for WordPress (I called mine wordpress), and create a directory in your web server root directory (/var/www/wp on my machine). Set up a new user (NOT root!) and give that user full control of the wordpress database.
-Download WordPress, and unpack the files in the web directory that you created.
-Rename the wp-config-sample.php file to wp-config.php and edit it to reflect your database name and user settings. Then run the script that populates the database (install.php). You'll get a password that you need to write down.
-It should be ready to roll, you can go to wp-login.php, log into WordPress, and set up your options, templates, etc. and begin posting.
Exciting stuff, huh? Overall, it wasn't too bad - my main gripe would be the lack of documentation, but they're working on that, and once it's installed, everything is intuitive enough that you can get by. If all else fails, they have a support forum on the website.
Now to work on the look. I downloaded and installed a new CSS style from Alex King's page, and was impressed by how easy it is to change the look of the site using CSS. The hard part's gonna be tweaking the look to something I like, armed only with my weak artistic skills and poor sense of style. I can't promise better, but I can promise different.
UPDATE: Found this CSS tutorial specifically for WordPress - that should come in handy!
-Set up a web server with MySQL, and PHP. Create a new database for WordPress (I called mine wordpress), and create a directory in your web server root directory (/var/www/wp on my machine). Set up a new user (NOT root!) and give that user full control of the wordpress database.
-Download WordPress, and unpack the files in the web directory that you created.
-Rename the wp-config-sample.php file to wp-config.php and edit it to reflect your database name and user settings. Then run the script that populates the database (install.php). You'll get a password that you need to write down.
-It should be ready to roll, you can go to wp-login.php, log into WordPress, and set up your options, templates, etc. and begin posting.
Exciting stuff, huh? Overall, it wasn't too bad - my main gripe would be the lack of documentation, but they're working on that, and once it's installed, everything is intuitive enough that you can get by. If all else fails, they have a support forum on the website.
Now to work on the look. I downloaded and installed a new CSS style from Alex King's page, and was impressed by how easy it is to change the look of the site using CSS. The hard part's gonna be tweaking the look to something I like, armed only with my weak artistic skills and poor sense of style. I can't promise better, but I can promise different.
UPDATE: Found this CSS tutorial specifically for WordPress - that should come in handy!
Arguing on the Internet is like...well, you know what it's like
Recently, there was an interesting skirmish on the Internet (no, not that one). The opening shot was fired from Kuro5hin by some guy named James A C Joyce (so we won't get him confused with the dead Irishman, I presume). Return volleys were quickly launched from Wizbang and the Commissar (who's damn funny for a Commie bastard, by the way), and it was "on like a chicken bone" as we say down here in inbred asshole country. Since I'm not a MovableType user, and not a Kuro5hin reader, maybe I can provide an impartial appraisal of the hoohah.
Mr. Joyce's original article journeys through the gray area between a rant, humor, and a troll. And naturally, how you see it depends on your point of view. If your ex-girlfriend uses MT to tell the world what a dick you are, you'll think that stuff is hilarious. If you're a latte drinker employed in a tertiary industry (whatever the hell that is) but uses Linux, you may not enjoy being bunched in with the iMac users. And if you're a Movable Type Evangelist, who preaches to everyone who will listen how this program changed your life, you'll naturally see this as a poke in the eye, and you'll want to poke back.
Like most humorous trolling rants, I could spend about 5 minutes with this framework and make it into the opening shot of a Windows vs. Linux, Christian vs. Pagan, Monkey vs. Robot, or whatever-you-want-it-to-be battle royale. Mr. Aylward proved this with his retort to the original material, adeptly turning the arguments around to poke fun at community sites like Kuro5hin and Slashdot. Of course, Mr. Joyce and some of his comrades rushed to defend their original points in the comments and the prototypical "nuh-uh, uh-huh!" tug of war was on. This is a side effect of the interactive Internet - one person offers his opinion on an operating system, or a NASCAR driver, then someone offers their opinion and tells why the other opinion sucks, then everyone takes sides and opens fire. The problem with this is that no one ever really wins, and less than 1% of what comes after has any actual value. Even though it's usually wrapped in big, obtuse sentences and peppered with pseudo-scientific arguments, it's really just a longer version of "Loser! Bigger Loser! Booger Head! Ass Munch! Weener! Poopy Butt!". It can go on forever. If you're one of those people who live to piss people off and start fights, blog comments and message boards are your best friends.
Why do people do this? Well, there are the aforementioned flame warriors, but it's human nature to become attached to the things in your life, whether it's your brand of car, or your favorite show, or what you put on your website. And thanks to the Internet, we can seek out people who think like we do - fellow code monkeys, or square dancers, or fans of someone's weblog - and feel like part of a little family. And when we feel like someone is making fun of our little world, or threatening it, of course we're gonna get all emotional and jump into the fray. I say we because I've jumped into my share. I'd like to say that I'm above all that, but it's easy to get sucked in if you're not careful. Especially if you're a smartass. With a quick clicking finger.
If you've read this far, I guess I owe you a point. The point of all this is so what if people use MT, or iMacs, or Windoze. So what if they like Pepsi, or Jeffy Gordon (shudder)? There has never been a more useful tool in the history of the world than the Internet. Need a recipe for meatloaf? Here ya go. Got a glitch in your Apache configuration? Try this. Your cat has worms? Tell the world about it. Forums, community sites, and weblogs are a resource to be cherished. It's a big, FREE, Internet out there, and everyone is entitled to their space in it. Even misguided morons who are so full of themselves that they make you shake with anger. And even people who listen to Yanni.
P.S. - By the way, Commissar, that "Pre10tious" thing? Pure fuckin gold, comrade.
Recently, there was an interesting skirmish on the Internet (no, not that one). The opening shot was fired from Kuro5hin by some guy named James A C Joyce (so we won't get him confused with the dead Irishman, I presume). Return volleys were quickly launched from Wizbang and the Commissar (who's damn funny for a Commie bastard, by the way), and it was "on like a chicken bone" as we say down here in inbred asshole country. Since I'm not a MovableType user, and not a Kuro5hin reader, maybe I can provide an impartial appraisal of the hoohah.
Mr. Joyce's original article journeys through the gray area between a rant, humor, and a troll. And naturally, how you see it depends on your point of view. If your ex-girlfriend uses MT to tell the world what a dick you are, you'll think that stuff is hilarious. If you're a latte drinker employed in a tertiary industry (whatever the hell that is) but uses Linux, you may not enjoy being bunched in with the iMac users. And if you're a Movable Type Evangelist, who preaches to everyone who will listen how this program changed your life, you'll naturally see this as a poke in the eye, and you'll want to poke back.
Like most humorous trolling rants, I could spend about 5 minutes with this framework and make it into the opening shot of a Windows vs. Linux, Christian vs. Pagan, Monkey vs. Robot, or whatever-you-want-it-to-be battle royale. Mr. Aylward proved this with his retort to the original material, adeptly turning the arguments around to poke fun at community sites like Kuro5hin and Slashdot. Of course, Mr. Joyce and some of his comrades rushed to defend their original points in the comments and the prototypical "nuh-uh, uh-huh!" tug of war was on. This is a side effect of the interactive Internet - one person offers his opinion on an operating system, or a NASCAR driver, then someone offers their opinion and tells why the other opinion sucks, then everyone takes sides and opens fire. The problem with this is that no one ever really wins, and less than 1% of what comes after has any actual value. Even though it's usually wrapped in big, obtuse sentences and peppered with pseudo-scientific arguments, it's really just a longer version of "Loser! Bigger Loser! Booger Head! Ass Munch! Weener! Poopy Butt!". It can go on forever. If you're one of those people who live to piss people off and start fights, blog comments and message boards are your best friends.
Why do people do this? Well, there are the aforementioned flame warriors, but it's human nature to become attached to the things in your life, whether it's your brand of car, or your favorite show, or what you put on your website. And thanks to the Internet, we can seek out people who think like we do - fellow code monkeys, or square dancers, or fans of someone's weblog - and feel like part of a little family. And when we feel like someone is making fun of our little world, or threatening it, of course we're gonna get all emotional and jump into the fray. I say we because I've jumped into my share. I'd like to say that I'm above all that, but it's easy to get sucked in if you're not careful. Especially if you're a smartass. With a quick clicking finger.
If you've read this far, I guess I owe you a point. The point of all this is so what if people use MT, or iMacs, or Windoze. So what if they like Pepsi, or Jeffy Gordon (shudder)? There has never been a more useful tool in the history of the world than the Internet. Need a recipe for meatloaf? Here ya go. Got a glitch in your Apache configuration? Try this. Your cat has worms? Tell the world about it. Forums, community sites, and weblogs are a resource to be cherished. It's a big, FREE, Internet out there, and everyone is entitled to their space in it. Even misguided morons who are so full of themselves that they make you shake with anger. And even people who listen to Yanni.
P.S. - By the way, Commissar, that "Pre10tious" thing? Pure fuckin gold, comrade.
I saw the picture above in the news this morning and had flashbacks of my first trip to China. Having never been to Asia before, I knew I was in for a new experience, but I really wasn't prepared for that first couple of days. I was working for an American company that had set up an operation in Guangzhou, and we had to take a bus ride to and from the factory from the hotel. It was about an hour of bumpy pavement, honking horns, and smog. The roads were more like a river of people and vehicles flowing along, squeezing in wherever there was an inch of space. Cars, buses, trucks, bicycles, oxcarts, you name it, they were all making their way down the streets. Because of the crowding, motorcycles were usually the vehicle of choice for making deliveries.
It was my first morning there and we were about 30 minutes into the trip, when I happened to glance out the window at a motorcycle passing us. There, on the back, was strapped two pig carcasses, headed to some restaurant. Thanks to that visual of dinner splashing along through the filthy gutters and diesel fumes, I was able to lose several pounds that first week there. I just psyched myself out. Now I'm not a picky eater, and I know that American food processing has its drawbacks too. But like most Americans, I'm blissfully unaware of them as long as you don't parade those drawbacks out in the street in plain view.
Good news, Dad - one more year of work study and your daughter will be able to get a job at the local titty bar!
Straight Baller, Shot Caller
Last weekend, I attended my first ball. Not a debutante ball, just a ball. I'd tell you the name of the one I went to, but I don't wanna get Googled and cause a scandal. Apparently people are invited and "join" the ball, kind of like the Kiwanis or Masons or something. Members pay annual dues, which are used to throw one big party in the winter. I think this is something left over from the Old South, it's bigger in cities like Montgomery and Savannah and Jackson, Mississippi. It was going on in Montgomery when I was growing up there, but I was completely unaware of it. You won't find many cops or church secretaries in the Social Register.
Anyway, we were invited by my banker in-laws and decided to attend. I procured an ill-fitting, rented, black suit (third-biggest racket after diamonds and college textbooks), and wifey got a dayum shexy little black number for the occasion. After arriving in Montgomery, we had dinner at Lek's Railroad Thai (get it? it's in the old Union Station! funny!), got into our monkey suits, and headed to the function.
When we arrived, it became clear that we had overlooked an important rule of etiquette for this type of social occasion. As P.J. O'Rourke so astutely pointed out in Modern Manners, "...drinking is not really a matter of manners. It is a matter of necessity. Life would be unbearable without liquor." This goes double if you're attending a ball. The first 45 minutes of the ball consist of the tableau. I don't speak much French, so I assume that tableau means "a bunch of corny little skits put on by the womenfolk". Wifey nailed it when she said it reminded her of a dance recital. Only thing is, those recital outfits aren't nearly as cute on grown women who have had a few kids (or grandkids). Luckily, we were seated in bleachers way in the back of the room. Finally, the tableau ended, and they paraded out this year's queen and the dancing started.
And most importantly, they opened the bars.
Once I got a little of the Famous Grouse in me (the bourbon they were serving was almost as bad as Pepsi), things got a lot easier to take. I ran into some old high school friends (oddly enough, no guys, just girls) and tried to catch up with them over the noise of the band they'd hired for the evening, Kid Blue, who were fresh from an appearance at the Opelika Summer Swing Music Festival. They were the typical uptight white people party band, covering lots of old R&B and dance stuff. The highlight of the evening (and one of the last things I remember very well) was running into my high school drama teacher(!). She looked exactly the same as she did many moons ago, she remembered my old nickname, and of course she remembered the pivotal role I played in her production of Guys and Dolls. I can still remember my line - "We've had enough!" The rest of the evening consisted of lots of dancing and more drinking and picture taking. Through careful experimentation, I was able to determine that the amount of fun you have at a ball is directly proportional to the amount of alcohol you've consumed in the previous three hours. Just divide your body weight by fifty, round up, and consume at least that many drinks per hour.
Overall, I'd have to rate the experience somewhere above a church social and below a 3-day shore leave in Brazil. Will I do it again? Probably not, it was a lot of money to blow for what you got out of it. Them socialites was nice people though. For those of you tempted to poke fun at them, maybe you just haven't had enough to drink today.
Last weekend, I attended my first ball. Not a debutante ball, just a ball. I'd tell you the name of the one I went to, but I don't wanna get Googled and cause a scandal. Apparently people are invited and "join" the ball, kind of like the Kiwanis or Masons or something. Members pay annual dues, which are used to throw one big party in the winter. I think this is something left over from the Old South, it's bigger in cities like Montgomery and Savannah and Jackson, Mississippi. It was going on in Montgomery when I was growing up there, but I was completely unaware of it. You won't find many cops or church secretaries in the Social Register.
Anyway, we were invited by my banker in-laws and decided to attend. I procured an ill-fitting, rented, black suit (third-biggest racket after diamonds and college textbooks), and wifey got a dayum shexy little black number for the occasion. After arriving in Montgomery, we had dinner at Lek's Railroad Thai (get it? it's in the old Union Station! funny!), got into our monkey suits, and headed to the function.
When we arrived, it became clear that we had overlooked an important rule of etiquette for this type of social occasion. As P.J. O'Rourke so astutely pointed out in Modern Manners, "...drinking is not really a matter of manners. It is a matter of necessity. Life would be unbearable without liquor." This goes double if you're attending a ball. The first 45 minutes of the ball consist of the tableau. I don't speak much French, so I assume that tableau means "a bunch of corny little skits put on by the womenfolk". Wifey nailed it when she said it reminded her of a dance recital. Only thing is, those recital outfits aren't nearly as cute on grown women who have had a few kids (or grandkids). Luckily, we were seated in bleachers way in the back of the room. Finally, the tableau ended, and they paraded out this year's queen and the dancing started.
And most importantly, they opened the bars.
Once I got a little of the Famous Grouse in me (the bourbon they were serving was almost as bad as Pepsi), things got a lot easier to take. I ran into some old high school friends (oddly enough, no guys, just girls) and tried to catch up with them over the noise of the band they'd hired for the evening, Kid Blue, who were fresh from an appearance at the Opelika Summer Swing Music Festival. They were the typical uptight white people party band, covering lots of old R&B and dance stuff. The highlight of the evening (and one of the last things I remember very well) was running into my high school drama teacher(!). She looked exactly the same as she did many moons ago, she remembered my old nickname, and of course she remembered the pivotal role I played in her production of Guys and Dolls. I can still remember my line - "We've had enough!" The rest of the evening consisted of lots of dancing and more drinking and picture taking. Through careful experimentation, I was able to determine that the amount of fun you have at a ball is directly proportional to the amount of alcohol you've consumed in the previous three hours. Just divide your body weight by fifty, round up, and consume at least that many drinks per hour.
Overall, I'd have to rate the experience somewhere above a church social and below a 3-day shore leave in Brazil. Will I do it again? Probably not, it was a lot of money to blow for what you got out of it. Them socialites was nice people though. For those of you tempted to poke fun at them, maybe you just haven't had enough to drink today.
The best response I've seen so far to the Wacko Jacko Nippo Slippo (sorry Mookie, had to steal that one) comes from anima: "this night was about football and about the players that earned the right to play in the Super Bowl - an accomplishment to be proud of. It was their night - for Justin & Janet to be so selfish and turn it into their shining moment and publicity stunt bullshit was wrong". Well said!
As I mentioned a few days ago, I'm working on a new blog project. I've been looking into hosting packages and blogging software, so I thought I'd share some with the group.
As far as hosting, there are tons of options out there, with the majority bunched up at around $8 a month. IPowerweb seemed to have one of the more powerful $8 packages. The cheapest hosting I've found so far (unless you can homebrew a server like Mookie) is doteasy.com. It's $25 a year to buy a domain and they throw in a year of hosting. Thanks to Scott for the info. The front runner for me at this point is bloghosts.com, because they seem to offer a lot of bang for the buck. Their cheapest package is $30/year ($45 with a domain name), and that's for a server with the tools you need to run a blog. They'll even install the blogging software of your choice for you! Allah uses bloghosts - if you haven't seen his Dean-o stuff, go check it out soon!
Speaking of the software, I've decided to stray from my tried and true Blogger/Haloscan matchup and try one of the fancier server-side "weblog management tools". The most popular choice these days seems to be Movable Type. However, during my digging around I stumbled across WordPress, which is probably what I'll be using. WordPress is standards based, uses a PHP/MySQL combo for the back end instead of the CGI scripting used by MT, and supports CSS style sheets so that you can control the site's appearance. Democrats may not like their big W logo, but they can get over it. Just the fact that it's not MT is a big plus for a contrarian like myself.
So now the easiest part is done, I've picked a host and software. Now I'm struggling with how many domains to have, what to name them, what colors to use, making pretty pictures, etc. etc. But I am making progress, so I guess that's a good thing.
As far as hosting, there are tons of options out there, with the majority bunched up at around $8 a month. IPowerweb seemed to have one of the more powerful $8 packages. The cheapest hosting I've found so far (unless you can homebrew a server like Mookie) is doteasy.com. It's $25 a year to buy a domain and they throw in a year of hosting. Thanks to Scott for the info. The front runner for me at this point is bloghosts.com, because they seem to offer a lot of bang for the buck. Their cheapest package is $30/year ($45 with a domain name), and that's for a server with the tools you need to run a blog. They'll even install the blogging software of your choice for you! Allah uses bloghosts - if you haven't seen his Dean-o stuff, go check it out soon!
Speaking of the software, I've decided to stray from my tried and true Blogger/Haloscan matchup and try one of the fancier server-side "weblog management tools". The most popular choice these days seems to be Movable Type. However, during my digging around I stumbled across WordPress, which is probably what I'll be using. WordPress is standards based, uses a PHP/MySQL combo for the back end instead of the CGI scripting used by MT, and supports CSS style sheets so that you can control the site's appearance. Democrats may not like their big W logo, but they can get over it. Just the fact that it's not MT is a big plus for a contrarian like myself.
So now the easiest part is done, I've picked a host and software. Now I'm struggling with how many domains to have, what to name them, what colors to use, making pretty pictures, etc. etc. But I am making progress, so I guess that's a good thing.
Some people think they found a peace sign on Mars. Real geeks know what that symbol really means. That's gotta be a sure sign that HL2 is coming.
Happy Tuesday! Nothing good to blog today, go see all my buddies to the left. And all you Democrats who have primaries today be sure and vote.
Welcome, confused Faithiepoo readers! I'm glad you stopped by! If you're here because you're a friend of hers, feel free to use the comments below to tell me "Inbred loser! j00 SuK!". Everyone else, enjoy the times.
Happy Groundhog Day! And happy birthday to two of my favorite "mamas", Sugarmama and my late grandmother, who we all called Big Mama. I still miss Big Mama's fried chicken, it was awesome.
Superbowl Stupidity:
Janet Jackson's boob seems to be the top story today. Was it an accident? Was it on purpose? Should anyone really care? The whole halftime show SUCKED (which should come as no surprise considering that AOL sponsored it and MTV produced it). From P Diddy's aforementioned jinxing of the Panthers, to Kid Rock showing his patriotism by cutting a hole in the American flag and sticking his greasy head through it, to Janet gyrating around with America's favorite gay wigger Justin, the whole thing was a disgrace and detracted from the AWESOME football that was played last night
For some reason, the streaker that interrupted the second half kickoff didn't get as much sensational press. Hats off to that guy, his performance was much more entertaining than what we got at halftime, and was probably better thought out.
By the way, Diversionz has a much more fair and balanced review of the game (plus links to good shots of the streaker and Janet's boobie).
Janet Jackson's boob seems to be the top story today. Was it an accident? Was it on purpose? Should anyone really care? The whole halftime show SUCKED (which should come as no surprise considering that AOL sponsored it and MTV produced it). From P Diddy's aforementioned jinxing of the Panthers, to Kid Rock showing his patriotism by cutting a hole in the American flag and sticking his greasy head through it, to Janet gyrating around with America's favorite gay wigger Justin, the whole thing was a disgrace and detracted from the AWESOME football that was played last night
For some reason, the streaker that interrupted the second half kickoff didn't get as much sensational press. Hats off to that guy, his performance was much more entertaining than what we got at halftime, and was probably better thought out.
By the way, Diversionz has a much more fair and balanced review of the game (plus links to good shots of the streaker and Janet's boobie).
The Team of Destiny comes up short. I knew that all was lost as soon as I saw P Diddy wearing a Julius Peppers jersey during the halftime show. Thanks for jinxing us, dipshit. Oh well, the Panthers still looked good and they kept the Patriots from covering the spread.
